Being myself is perhaps the hardest thing I have ever been
asked to do. Life has often put me in situations that required me to be greater
and wiser than I had ever thought I would be. And it tests me now as I reveal
my story to you. Or maybe I’ll just start with my present.
My
current predicament has brought me back to the country of my birth, Pakistan,
from my adopted country, the United States. It has been challenging to say the
least. As a 21 year old in the midst of inner turmoil, Pakistan has presented
to me a challenge of its very own. Perhaps a challenge that was not so
necessary at my life in this point.
Right
before departing for Pakistan in September, I made the decision to revert back
to being a Muslim. Don’t get me wrong, I was born a Muslim, but I never
practiced. Muslim was my label, not my being. In August, something within me
changed and I reverted. I adopted the hijab and slowly began the process of
learning my religion. I dealt with the stigmas of being a hijabi in America. I
have to say it was not too hard.
As I
was getting settled in to my new image, life brought me to the capitol of
Pakistan. My initial reaction was that learning my religion would be easier in
Pakistan. Considering it is the
Islamic Republic of Pakistan. But after arriving in Pakistan, I realized that
there was neither religion here nor any signs of a republic. It turned out to
be a land on the verge of anarchy; where the law can be manipulated to suit
one’s desires.
This
blog details my story of finding myself in a land that is more confused than I
am.
